Searching Richard Grove's "Tragedy And Hope" may help. My cut-&-paste of links doesn't seem to work here. I have spent thousands of hours taking notes listening and writing about this stuff. (Since 2011 for me.)
There are so many parallels between your professional preparations and mine. I was much slower to catch on to the poisonous offerings I was required to provide, services designed into my profession, compulsory public schooling.
For years I was sure the damage I knew I was causing, the stunting of creative and intellectual potentials, was a direct result of my own incompetence.
My imaginary companion was a profound sense of inadequacy.
A lovely conclusion to a lovely poem. No matter how much we might resent our past versions, we need them to become the best version of ourselves. I was never the teacher's pet, I was the girl teachers would describe as "the kind calming presence we wish we could hear and see more often." I always resented myself for not being the girl who raised her hand in class, but I saw it as the only way to protect myself from being seen (still do haha). Getting good grades has been a way to show teachers what I'm capable of, but lately, this has been a bit of a blockage. I'm slowly trying to dim my "superego" that wants everything to be absolutely perfect before I turn in papers. It's a work in progress, but so is everything.
Love this Tom! Kat Fey here (we've chatted on Matt's channel). Your words remind me a bit of my youth. Although I handled my feelings of isolation differently (I aimed for being popular and 'cool' and whatever anyone wanted from me at the loss of my sense of self), I felt much of the same things on the inside. If they saw the 'real me', then I would not be liked. I always felt as though I saw and felt things that others around me completely missed or did not care about, so I buried that me deeper inside. Towards the end of college is when my reckoning came in the form of a break up where I was so very co-dependent. In any case, it was my awakening and subsequent dark night of the soul. It was meditation that ultimately introduced me to myself and allowed me to peer into those darker shadowy spaces. It was a process of years and it is still ongoing, but I have to say, that at 46 years old, I feel grateful that much of this work was done in my earlier years. I have been able to build a life with a husband and children that is authentic, true and beautiful. I truly owe this to those early, painful and so very fruitful years of discovery in my 20's. So I send this as a message of hope, that these things you are feeling and processing and discovering are the seeds of a life of authenticity and hopefully contentment. You and your work are an inspiration and you will continue to uncover that bright shining gem inside of yourself. You in fact make me feel more hopeful for this rising generation. With warmth and gratitude, Kat
Hi Tom... how brave to dive in this big theme! I'm sure many can relate and allowed healing.
I discovered that:
I'll quote you first...
"Something I continue to battle with is a sense [...]"
my emotional guiding system of my spirited body brings me the feelings connected to a past story that I couldn't or wouldn't feel, and when I stop battling them, i.e. feel them, process, I progress and pass the blockage; indeed growing pains... a simultaneous contraction and expansion. Love 🐣 Pascalle
PS I don't need to 'make sense' either, but stop battling the senses... hahaha 🥳
The Demosthenes sophistry legacy of "ad men" aka public relations gurus is unfortunateky alive and well.
Well-Schooled Populations:
Intellectual self defense is squelched in order to monopolize control (as in the dominance of empire).
Science of Reason
in schooled individuals is sorely lacking. This is on purpose.
Trivium method =
Grammar/Knowledge
Input (1)
Logic/Comprehension
Processing (2)
Rhetoric/Wisdom
Output [shared] (3)
John Taylor Gatto explains, in a 5-hour Ultimate History Lesson on YouTube, and Underground History of American Education book form, that *schooling* trains us, much like fleas trained for flea circus, to thwart our own intellect.
We each and all have God-given potentials of
Science
Reason
Intuition
Imagination
by which we can grow toward our full innate potential.
Tom,
Searching Richard Grove's "Tragedy And Hope" may help. My cut-&-paste of links doesn't seem to work here. I have spent thousands of hours taking notes listening and writing about this stuff. (Since 2011 for me.)
Note: 58 / 108 min
"Kung fu" of intellectual self defense.
See also
Mark Passio + Natural Law.
https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/peacerevolution/episodes/2010-01-20T16_36_22-08_00
Thanks a lot👍for sharing!
Tom,
There are so many parallels between your professional preparations and mine. I was much slower to catch on to the poisonous offerings I was required to provide, services designed into my profession, compulsory public schooling.
For years I was sure the damage I knew I was causing, the stunting of creative and intellectual potentials, was a direct result of my own incompetence.
My imaginary companion was a profound sense of inadequacy.
More later...
mark spark
.
"I am the vivid oak,
deepening my roots with each passing day,
somewhat bemused by the version of me
who was ever worried in the first place."
A lovely conclusion to a lovely poem. No matter how much we might resent our past versions, we need them to become the best version of ourselves. I was never the teacher's pet, I was the girl teachers would describe as "the kind calming presence we wish we could hear and see more often." I always resented myself for not being the girl who raised her hand in class, but I saw it as the only way to protect myself from being seen (still do haha). Getting good grades has been a way to show teachers what I'm capable of, but lately, this has been a bit of a blockage. I'm slowly trying to dim my "superego" that wants everything to be absolutely perfect before I turn in papers. It's a work in progress, but so is everything.
Thank you for sharing your story and poem :)
Progress is the key word there - the tree does not grow instantaneously, it takes time and nourishment. Thanks for sharing Lara!
Love this Tom! Kat Fey here (we've chatted on Matt's channel). Your words remind me a bit of my youth. Although I handled my feelings of isolation differently (I aimed for being popular and 'cool' and whatever anyone wanted from me at the loss of my sense of self), I felt much of the same things on the inside. If they saw the 'real me', then I would not be liked. I always felt as though I saw and felt things that others around me completely missed or did not care about, so I buried that me deeper inside. Towards the end of college is when my reckoning came in the form of a break up where I was so very co-dependent. In any case, it was my awakening and subsequent dark night of the soul. It was meditation that ultimately introduced me to myself and allowed me to peer into those darker shadowy spaces. It was a process of years and it is still ongoing, but I have to say, that at 46 years old, I feel grateful that much of this work was done in my earlier years. I have been able to build a life with a husband and children that is authentic, true and beautiful. I truly owe this to those early, painful and so very fruitful years of discovery in my 20's. So I send this as a message of hope, that these things you are feeling and processing and discovering are the seeds of a life of authenticity and hopefully contentment. You and your work are an inspiration and you will continue to uncover that bright shining gem inside of yourself. You in fact make me feel more hopeful for this rising generation. With warmth and gratitude, Kat
Glad to hear you feel hopeful! Thanks for sharing your story, good to have it as a reference for myself
Hi Tom... how brave to dive in this big theme! I'm sure many can relate and allowed healing.
I discovered that:
I'll quote you first...
"Something I continue to battle with is a sense [...]"
my emotional guiding system of my spirited body brings me the feelings connected to a past story that I couldn't or wouldn't feel, and when I stop battling them, i.e. feel them, process, I progress and pass the blockage; indeed growing pains... a simultaneous contraction and expansion. Love 🐣 Pascalle
PS I don't need to 'make sense' either, but stop battling the senses... hahaha 🥳
Great catch! Thanks for highlighting this
1 JAN 25
Pro Prep Parallels 4 TS
Tom,
The Demosthenes sophistry legacy of "ad men" aka public relations gurus is unfortunateky alive and well.
Well-Schooled Populations:
Intellectual self defense is squelched in order to monopolize control (as in the dominance of empire).
Science of Reason
in schooled individuals is sorely lacking. This is on purpose.
Trivium method =
Grammar/Knowledge
Input (1)
Logic/Comprehension
Processing (2)
Rhetoric/Wisdom
Output [shared] (3)
John Taylor Gatto explains, in a 5-hour Ultimate History Lesson on YouTube, and Underground History of American Education book form, that *schooling* trains us, much like fleas trained for flea circus, to thwart our own intellect.
We each and all have God-given potentials of
Science
Reason
Intuition
Imagination
by which we can grow toward our full innate potential.
Godspeed Sir.
mark spark
.
Love, consciousness and healing are also part of Universal streams 👍
Agreed.